A typical scene in an Iranian airport
* You always complain about Iran Air yet you keep travelling on it because you get a free "daakhelee ( domestic )" ticket to Kish island.
* You always promise yourself that you'll fly with British Airw
* The difference between Economy Class and Homa class is that there is a bit more leg room, and the "mehmaandars ( Lady Flight Attendants )" lower their "roosaries ( Hair Covering )" when they come and serve you.
* You notice how the Iraqi and Pakistani "aakhoond" get the best treatment.
* You have an Iranian-Canadian, an Iranian-American and a Iranian-German sitting around you and the Iranian-English keeps telling them how lucky they are being in those countries.
* You seem to see that same old man who still wears his Immortal Guard Shahee uniform whenever you travel to Iran.
* You always have that kid behind you who keeps either screaming/shouting/whining/pushing and pulling your chair/pulling your hair/spilling water while you put on the best fake smile you can telling his/her mother "Eybee nadareh ( It's ok )"
* You have your eye on that hot babe/guy sitting on the other side.
* You hate those shitty Iranian films they put on. Most of them are about the Qajar era of Iran.
* You close your eyes when they announce the safety instructions in that Persian-American accent.
* Those cheap headphones they give to you to listen to the films always break.
* They never seem to give enough coke, sorry Zam-Zam.
* You have that 87 year old granny stealing the luggage compartment on top of your seat.
* You bring too much luggage.
* You argue about the "jareemeh" for the luggage.
* The passport control women who is a khaharaneh Zaynab infuriates you when she looks at you, then your photo, looks at you then your photo, looks at you, then your photo, looks at you then your photo, looks at you then your photo,YES THATS F.... ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then asks for your name,
* You wait 3 hours in the ques for passport checks and luggage control.
* You always seem to find that there are 7 luggages which are identical to yours.
* The hamal asks if you need any help, and then when you find out he's not complimentary you slip him 500 tomans, he then looks at you, then the money ands then says "dollar", you say "Chee?" he says "dollar daaree", you say "che ghadr?" he says "50!!!!!!!", you say "Gooreh Pedarit!" and take your luggage off him.
* FINALLY, FINALLY, you pass the luggage checks, you are then faced with 37,897 Iranians in Mehrabad, with their faces pressed against the glass screen waving at you. You wave at one of them, all of them wave at you. You get to the other side with about every daei, khaaleh, amoo, ameh, pesar khaaleh, dokhtar amoo kissing and hugging you, while they take your luggage from your exhausted arms.
* Then you ask your older brother: who is that man that runs away with my luggage?
And he replies: don’t worry, it’s your cousin
* You are in Iran.